TWO!

To Ainsley, on your birthday:

Today you are two, my sweet baby girl.
You frequently give kisses and hugs to your daddy, sister, and me...as well as anything resembling a stuffed animal.
You are fiery, passionate, dramatic, and sweet.
Your favorite foods are spaghetti, french fries, strawberries ("goberries"), and peas. Apparently, chicken is "scary" and green beans hurt you. Your words, not mine.
You talk incessantly. Your daddy and I LOVE this about you. You tell us vivid stories, sing songs, recall your favorite Dora episode, and imitate us in silly voices. You are already quite the showman. My favorite moments in our day are when you catch my eye from across the room, smile mischievously, and say "I love you BIG TIME!"
Daddy can make you laugh like none other. Much to my dismay, you are a "daddy's girl" through and through.
You are a Dora enthusiast.
You sleep in a big girl bed, cuddled up next to Bunny, which is actually a dog.
You always want to wear your purple shoes. Purple is the only color you never mistake.
Coloring is a major hobby for you, sweets. Your favorite is when I let you color with pens. One time I picked you up from Aunt Joanna and Uncle Andi's house and you had drawn all over your tummy with a pen. This has now happened 5 times. Quite the artist, you are.
You LOVE the pool, the park, playing with Paige, Emery Rae, the blanket Grandma made for you, your puppy car, running from Jackson, Charlotte's Web, any Olivia book, your grandparents, shouting, waffles, early morning cuddles, Mommy and Daddy, going to the zoo with your cousins, your playhouse, ringing the doorbell, dancing, and singing The B-I-B-L-E.
You have already lived in three different places. Our apartment, the Tatums, and our new house.
You are loved by SO many people. Most importantly, you are loved by the King. It is my continual prayer that you will come to know Him, whom to know is life eternal.

Happy birthday, my sweet daughter. Let's eat some cake!!!!

Love,
Mommy

Feeling thankful this Mother's Day

I'm not sure how many times I hear this word a day.
Mommy, I want juice!
Mommy, watch me!
Mommy, look!
Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy...HI!
I am sad to admit, there are some days where Mommy is not my favorite word and I silently wish that we could replace it with Daddy. Last night was one of those nights. My daughter woke up nearly every hour, screaming MOMMY and awaiting my presence. Each time, I would stumble to her room and open the door to find the distressed face of my sweetheart. The weight of her warm body in my arms and the smell of sleep rising from her breath was the one redeeming element of the whole night. I just kept thinking, the Lord entrusted this one with me. In His sovereign will, this precious child of His was planned for me. I get to be her mother.
I have never claimed to be a natural mother. I know that my instincts are not maternal or even right majority of the time. But I also know that when I look at this little girl who so much resembles my husband and displays all of my stubbornness and fire, I feel blessed. Even when it's three in the morning.

Cousins!

A few weeks ago, Ainsley and I spent the day with my sister and her girls (sadly, my nephew Eli was at school). We snapped a few pictures in between all the silliness. 

Grown up stuff.

I will be thirty in mere months, but there are moments when I catch myself believing that I'm still twenty. Surely I'm still that carefree woman with plans every night, wearing my new boots that I blew my whole pay check on. I still look like her...sorta. But then there are conversations and circumstances that plunge me into reality that I am now very much a grown-up and very very much nearly thirty.
Case in point- buying a home. I had no idea how complicated the process of buying a home can be. The ultimate "hurry up and wait," I'm starting to learn. We have found this adorable little house in a nearby town. Yes, the house needs quite a bit of work and yes, it is a short sale which I've heard can be brutal, but the potential in this place is palpable. We put in an offer and are now in our third week of waiting to hear from the bank. Argh.
Case in point two- disciplining a toddler. Our little one is happy and so very sweet. She loves mimicking everything we say. She's also learned to sing this week...really loudly. But what she also seems to adore is to say no to absolutely everything.  Would you like some juice? NO! Would you like to go outside? NO! Did you miss Mommy while she was at work? NO! I know deep in my heart that she doesn't mean NO for everything, especially the part about missing me. She misses me, I just know it. But she LOVES to say no. Living/caring for/disciplining a toddler has taken me to the end of myself more than once and has most definitely reminded me that I am a grown-up.
Case in point three- pregnancy. I went to bed at nine tonight. And now it's midnight and I can't sleep. Goodbye slightly cool girl I once was! You've been replaced with an old, tired, big-bellied woman. A grown-up one.

The search for rhubarb

I blame Chicago's inconsistent, unpredictable weather. Tuesday's sixty degree loveliness ruined me for any more winter. I somehow found myself believing that spring officially had made its appearance. For me, spring's arrival inspires a whole new array of baking options, including strawberry rhubarb pie. I stepped out of my apartment Tuesday morning, felt the warm wind on my face, and instantly dreamed of baking my husband's favorite strawberry rhubarb pie.  I had the recipe, thanks to my mother-in-law, and seemingly had the spring needed for rhubarb to be in season. Tuesday was a wonderful day for so many reasons, but in part to the promise of a homemade pie.
The search began yesterday after naptime. Ainsley and I put on our spring jackets (which brought many a painful squeal from the lady when she realized how cold the air outside was) and prepared for the great rhubarb hunt. We went to three grocery stores with no success. We were dumbfounded. It's SPRING! "Where's the rhubarb?" I foolishly asked several produce workers only to be met with confused looks and snickers. With much disappointment and very hungry bellies, Ainsley and I walked back into our apartment rhubarb-less.
Today brought a renewed determination. I finished teaching, picked up my sweet baby girl, and drove us over to Woodmans, completely confident that I would be exiting with rhubarb. After checking both the produce and frozen fruit sections, I gave up on the rhubarb hunt and decided that an apple pie would have to do- all I needed was brown sugar, which is always in season. I found the ingredient, got in line to pay, and then realized that I only had my credit card with me, which Woodman's does not accept. Braving my embarrassment, I apologized to the cashier, returned my brown sugar, and took my daughter back to the car, all the while realizing that I was a complete dummy...void of rhubarb and brown sugar.
SO, I am putting aside my strawberry rhubarb pie aspirations to be picked up sometime in April...hopefully, spring will join me.

This week...

-Ainsley said "sister" for the first time.
-I made a delicious batch of asparagus risotto. The man in my life had two helpings. Success.

-I have read thirty-two research papers from my eighth grade class. If you want to know anything about childhood obesity or endangered animals, I'm your gal.
-Along with my friend Joanna, I lost miserably to cards this week to two gloating husbands.
-Joel explained to me the importance of getting your car washed in the winter. I stand corrected :)
-This girl rode on her little car all around our apartment.

-Thanks to my handsome husband, a thermos of Intelligentsia coffee has accompanied me to work each day this week.
-We've looked at a house nearby and are considering putting down an offer! SO exciting.
-I used the phrase "bee in your bonnet" in a greenroom full of men, much to their amusement.
-I've only blogged once. Yikes!

Deep sigh

Baby sound asleep

Banana bread is baking

Putting my feet up...